Let's face it.....9/11 was a day that shall live in infamy in the United States of America. As well it should. Let us get a few facts straight at the outset. A small group of Al Qaeda extremists caused the death of over 3000 people by taking control of 4 flights, impacting both of the World Trade Towers, another into the Pentagon and the last impacted into a field after passengers forced it down.
I, as do most Americans, know where I was and what I was doing as my heart sank into my chest and tightened. I was heart sickened, shocked, angered and deeply saddened. I had also come to see the reality of life and that people that want to do horrific things could impact me and my family. So at what point did we also come to blame all of Islam and the Muslim population as a whole worldwide? Where is our logic and have we not seen this behavior before? No? Really?
I am not a warmonger. I am also not quick to judge others. Now let us look at some of the ridiculous behaviors that have happened since that day. I will stay with the most current. We are involved in 2 wars. Many more Americans and Muslims and others have died as a result with little truly accomplished. There has been an Islamic Community Center by the site for a very long time (more than a year) and now it is an issue. There are Christian Pastors wishing to burn copies of the Quran. Why?
Here is my view. I have met, and remain friends with many people of Islamic and Muslim faith. I am friends with many of varied faiths. It amazes me that we are taking a "holier than though" and "absolutes" approach. This was a very small group of extremists that caused this and other events. Jihad is an extremist view held by people of extreme beliefs.
If we look back on history we can find events that have been caused by virtually every faith that could be held in comparison and some even exceed this violation and the loss of life. The Crusades. The writing of the Maleous Maleficarum aka "The Witches Hammer", written by 2 catholic priests. This book brought about "the inquisition/the burning times". The ongoing battle over the Gaza Strip. The Mountain Meadows Massacre. At what point do we deem ourselves "holier than thou?"
I think we need to take a personal inventory,of sorts, and make a decision to try to be more tolerant of other faiths. We all realize that there are parts of other faiths that we disagree with, thus, the vast number of faiths that exist. Does this mean that we become elitist in our own faith? Where do we justify the "we are right and they are wrong" mentality? Or do we simply shut down that part of our intelligence and logic so we can rationalize our corresponding poor behavior?
Don't get me wrong........people that perpetrate these types of actions can, and should be, punished. But do we punish everyone that has a similar belief to the offenders? If we did that, we would not have a human race to worry about. At the very least we would have anarchy worldwide.
In closing I ask each and every one of my readers to stop and think. How many more people do we need to lose before we learn tolerance? Justice obtained through violence is not justice. It is illogical tyrrany and makes us no better than those we are persecuting. "An eye for an eye" means the perpetrators eye, not a mass group of people of similar faith. We need to begin thinking with our minds instead of our raw emotions before the world as we know becomes nothing but a war zone. Our survival depends on it. Tolerance means not forgetting but forgiving and understanding the source.
Nathan Jeffery has been Wiccan for 20 years and remains outspoken about bringing this faith into the public knowledge. Not for ridicule or degredation, but for the proud people who also just happen to practice this faith as he does, without secrecy or shame.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Friday, March 5, 2010
The False Dichotomy of the Modern Wiccan
Dichotomy......what is it and how and why is it to be avoided? This is an interesting question so let us first define what it is and why my title differs from it's definition. Dichotomy is the splitting of a whole into exactly two non-overlapping parts. In other words, it is a partition of the whole (or a set) into two parts. Wow, now that's a mouthful and bends the mind a bit. (wickipedia.org)
So how does that fit into this article? Well, many of us in the Wiccan faith tend to separate our faith from our public profile as it were. What I mean by that is we tend to unintentionally, and sometimes intentionally, "hide" our faith from the public knowledge of our coworkers and even our friends and family. Now I know what you are saying. Well, by that definition how can that be a dichotomy? Well, it can't and that is the topic of discussion in this article.
Being Wiccan is like no other faith. And when you are Wiccan you are by all means all of the time.......a Wiccan. So why then do we create a false dichotomy by pretending NOT to be who and what we are? This is called a false dichotomous relationship. I am Wiccan through and through. I can never completely sever that fact, regardless of how convenient it might be. I am still Wiccan even when I do not share my views with my coworkers, friends and family.
My views have become a part of me. They are integrated into the way I think, behave and interact with others. I do this without even thinking. Now, for me......I am an openly Wiccan man. I make no attempts at hiding my beliefs or the very nature of them. By doing this I no longer suffer the negative affects of this false dichotomy. So, how does this make you suffer? How can you be open and honest and have negative physical and mental costs involved with that? You can't.
The reason I am discussing this is due to the number of emails and questions I receive in chat about "how can you be openly Wiccan? Don't you worry about what others might think?" The answer of course is not just no, but hell no! I am very proud of being who and what I am. It is no different than those of Christian faith standing up and declaring their devotion to Jesus Christ. We simply differ in our views and that in no way encroaches on their beliefs.
There are sooooo many Wiccans that still hold their heads in shame, and for what purpose? I, for one, am very proud to be a child of theLord and the Lady and make no apologies for it at any time, nor to anyone. Even if religion were not a protected right here in the United States of America I would die before I denounced my religious convictions. You could call this article a "call to pride".
When you chose, which I honestly believe this faith chooses you, you swore at initiation to always love the Lord and the Lady and to be reverant before them in all of their splendor......or words to that effect. To deny who and what you are is to deny them and all of nature which, consequently, includes each and every one of us and everything on and within the earth and space and time.
I urge you to avoid the pain and the anxiety that comes with trying to separate that which you were born to and that which you so deeply believe and realize that it is all for naught to try to deny it. It is a true false dichotomy and I am proud to stand with each one of my brothers and sisters of any and every faith. After all, we all may have our differing views on deity and the worship thereof, but inexplicably we all came from the same source. Let us all get along in love and peace and be who we are, proudly.
Brightest Blessings )0(
Nathan Jeffery
Nathan Jeffery has been Wiccan for 19 years and remains outspoken about bringing this faith into the publics awareness. Not for ridicule or degredation, but for the proud people who also just happen to practice this faith as he does, without secrecy or shame.
Sources: wikipedia.org
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Jeffery
So how does that fit into this article? Well, many of us in the Wiccan faith tend to separate our faith from our public profile as it were. What I mean by that is we tend to unintentionally, and sometimes intentionally, "hide" our faith from the public knowledge of our coworkers and even our friends and family. Now I know what you are saying. Well, by that definition how can that be a dichotomy? Well, it can't and that is the topic of discussion in this article.
Being Wiccan is like no other faith. And when you are Wiccan you are by all means all of the time.......a Wiccan. So why then do we create a false dichotomy by pretending NOT to be who and what we are? This is called a false dichotomous relationship. I am Wiccan through and through. I can never completely sever that fact, regardless of how convenient it might be. I am still Wiccan even when I do not share my views with my coworkers, friends and family.
My views have become a part of me. They are integrated into the way I think, behave and interact with others. I do this without even thinking. Now, for me......I am an openly Wiccan man. I make no attempts at hiding my beliefs or the very nature of them. By doing this I no longer suffer the negative affects of this false dichotomy. So, how does this make you suffer? How can you be open and honest and have negative physical and mental costs involved with that? You can't.
The reason I am discussing this is due to the number of emails and questions I receive in chat about "how can you be openly Wiccan? Don't you worry about what others might think?" The answer of course is not just no, but hell no! I am very proud of being who and what I am. It is no different than those of Christian faith standing up and declaring their devotion to Jesus Christ. We simply differ in our views and that in no way encroaches on their beliefs.
There are sooooo many Wiccans that still hold their heads in shame, and for what purpose? I, for one, am very proud to be a child of theLord and the Lady and make no apologies for it at any time, nor to anyone. Even if religion were not a protected right here in the United States of America I would die before I denounced my religious convictions. You could call this article a "call to pride".
When you chose, which I honestly believe this faith chooses you, you swore at initiation to always love the Lord and the Lady and to be reverant before them in all of their splendor......or words to that effect. To deny who and what you are is to deny them and all of nature which, consequently, includes each and every one of us and everything on and within the earth and space and time.
I urge you to avoid the pain and the anxiety that comes with trying to separate that which you were born to and that which you so deeply believe and realize that it is all for naught to try to deny it. It is a true false dichotomy and I am proud to stand with each one of my brothers and sisters of any and every faith. After all, we all may have our differing views on deity and the worship thereof, but inexplicably we all came from the same source. Let us all get along in love and peace and be who we are, proudly.
Brightest Blessings )0(
Nathan Jeffery
Nathan Jeffery has been Wiccan for 19 years and remains outspoken about bringing this faith into the publics awareness. Not for ridicule or degredation, but for the proud people who also just happen to practice this faith as he does, without secrecy or shame.
Sources: wikipedia.org
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Jeffery
Thursday, March 4, 2010
The Costs of Secrecy
I received a message through skype earlier today and it got me thinking about how secrets affect our lives every day. Keeping secrets can be good sometimes, however, what are the side effects of doing so? Are they benign or do they work like a cancer on our very soul, eating away at who and what we believe ourselves to be?
I will attempt to examine this in some detail without completely boring you, my reader, or sounding as if I was coming to this topic in a victim mentality. When I was younger I recall doing things that I knew were against the rules or "taboo". I also remember well how I felt while keeping the secret bottled up inside. And, yes, there are some secrets that remain so today and are just better left in that little place we call the "skeleton closet".
I remember well the knots that welled up within my stomach, that wrenching feeling deep down that told me that I really knew that there could be hell to pay when it was discovered what I had done. Of course, looking back now, I fully realize just how trivial keeping the secret really was, and that keeping the secret really only made me sick and very on edge. Generally when the truth came out, discipline was swift and the pain generally subsided. I also now recall how much relief was there after it was out in the open and dealt with.
How many men and women have had adulterous affairs? And of those, how many of those people became mentally and physically ill from keeping the affair a secret? Most come into the light of day eventually and the damage is already done. Not unlike my example of a child hiding a secret, the physical and mental toll it takes is the same. It makes one edgy, knots well up in the stomach, and it is what will eventually end in divorce. In this situation why is it so difficult to just say "the marriage has issues" or the "marriage is in trouble" and deal with it prior to getting into that situation of lies and deceit?
This one leads back to my opening comment about the skype message I received. I grew up Mormon and made the transition to Wicca and that is already known. What I hadn't really stated prior was this. I kept it a secret how I felt and what I believed for many years. I knew what I believed but out of fear of retribution and ridicule, I kept it bottled up and it was like a time bomb. I always felt incomplete, unfulfilled and generally felt that I was being watched by everyone......although that was not, in fact, the reality of the situation. I functioned this way for years and when i finally "came out", while there was some of the ridicule and retribution, it was nowhere near at the level I predicted it would be.
I have been participating in a rating and comment group for business. We write articles, make blog posts, and make videos and then comment and rate one an-others work. At first I began by making them all about marketing concepts and how to self brand......all of the while hiding who I was "deep down". The knots began to well up and I felt again incomplete as a businessman and something had to give. I was always on edge, muscles tense, headaches and all of the usual side effects. And then..........it happened. An awakening of sorts. Why not mix my deep seeded faith AND my business?
Seemed like a great idea at the time so I went with it. Needless to say I am still "with it". So how does this come into play within this article? I had been hiding who I truly was and when I came out about it and began making videos about Wiccan products and Wiccan things......I suddenly received fewer ratings and fewer comments. I received comments on my Facebook profile about "what happened to you?" What happened WAS me and shall remain. I felt relief.
The comment sent to my skype this morning said,"If I'm being honest - the Wiccan Stuff isn't my bag either Nathan. I do my best to eat the chicken and spit out the bones in my interactions with EVERYONE. But some of the stuff on those sites (Images More than anything) are a bit against the grain. I would work on building YOU - rather than the Wiccan Beliefs. You'll get A LOT bigger audience!
While this comment is true, I would still not be ME in doing that very thing, and my Wiccan beliefs govern everything else in my life. To this individual I sent the response that I appreciated his opinion, however. ME and my Wiccan beliefs are one in the same. It would be like any other faith in business not being their faith while they are doing business. It would be a secret and therein a lie! Feels good to be ME instead of what others expect and the secret being out has made life so much more simple. Cost me friends? Not many, and those that decided to stop rating and commenting were never friends to begin with in the grand scheme of things. Life goes on in peace and business. Well, I am still here and still doing business.....just without the stress of "the secret".
Another big one, and one I encountered often, both as a paramedic and a religious leader, is premarital/teen pregnancy. This secret is a biggie and does so much damage mentally, physically, and spiritually, that I would be remiss if I did not address this secret and the aftermath here in this article. The fact of the matter is that some teens, regardless of religious upbringing, will engage in pre-marital sex. Of those some of the young women will become pregnant. The teachings within many faiths make this very taboo.
So what is the effect? For women that I have spoken to that have been in this situation it is very heavy to pack the weight of this secret around. They feel ashamed (although they shouldn't as nature happens), they feel that they have let their parents down or even let themselves down and that takes a tremendous amount of energy, physical and mental, in order to maintain the secret. They compound the morning sickness by holding the secret in and the knots and the vomiting associated with morning sickness, compounded by the lie, become excruciating.
Depression is not uncommon from what I have seen and many times these young women will seek counsel from religious leaders. Now this can be stressful as well because by sharing the secret with clergy, will the clergy divulge this "secret" to their parents who are generally also of this faith? And what then will be the resulting consequences of this decision? You can see the paradox involved here. Many will become depressed, some suicidal, and all over something, that while not necessarily planned, can be dealt with in an adult and loving manner.
I have seen many young women involved in a premarital pregnancy that have not kept the secret, and the results are never as grave as had the secret been kept. While some parents "freak out" and many actually go against their faith and try to convince the teen to abort, the majority do not and eventually accept the reality of the situation and again take on the role of loving and supportive parent. Secrets do damage my friends. Some damage even causes the loss of lives when in fact it shouldn't.
My question then is this. Do we keep secrets? Of course we do. However, at some point we must cease harboring secrets in order for us to truly be who we are and who we were meant to be. Ultimately it really doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, but what we ourselves think, and when we can accept responsibility for our own actions, behaviors and choices, how wonderful life can be. Life isn't always easy. life isn't always without stress and pain and all of the other human emotions that make us who and what we are. However, secrets make us DIFFERENT than who we really are and we must think about what the cost benefit ratio will be if we decide to keep a deep dark skeleton in that closet.
Be who and what you are. The God/Goddess didn't make junk, nor does deity intend for you to be miserable in order to placate or bow to the wishes of everyone else. We are all here for this short period of time we call life. We need to learn the lessons we are meant to learn, however they may present themselves, and act upon them for the benefit of ourselves and those we love and care about. I urge you to purge the negative influences of all of those secrets that you hold deep down inside and feel the freedom of just being proud of who and what you are as a fellow human being. In the end you will respect yourself much more and those around you, that truly care about you, will have more respect FOR you as well.
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself, be honest and true to your nature and brightest blessings to you always. As always you may reach me privately by email at wiccanthings@hotmail.com
Nathan Jeffery
Author-Business and Religious Leader
Nathan Jeffery has been Wiccan for 19 years and remains outspoken about bringing his faith into the public awareness. Not for ridicule or degredation, but for the proud people who also just happen to practice this faith as he does, without secrecy or shame.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Jeffery
I will attempt to examine this in some detail without completely boring you, my reader, or sounding as if I was coming to this topic in a victim mentality. When I was younger I recall doing things that I knew were against the rules or "taboo". I also remember well how I felt while keeping the secret bottled up inside. And, yes, there are some secrets that remain so today and are just better left in that little place we call the "skeleton closet".
I remember well the knots that welled up within my stomach, that wrenching feeling deep down that told me that I really knew that there could be hell to pay when it was discovered what I had done. Of course, looking back now, I fully realize just how trivial keeping the secret really was, and that keeping the secret really only made me sick and very on edge. Generally when the truth came out, discipline was swift and the pain generally subsided. I also now recall how much relief was there after it was out in the open and dealt with.
How many men and women have had adulterous affairs? And of those, how many of those people became mentally and physically ill from keeping the affair a secret? Most come into the light of day eventually and the damage is already done. Not unlike my example of a child hiding a secret, the physical and mental toll it takes is the same. It makes one edgy, knots well up in the stomach, and it is what will eventually end in divorce. In this situation why is it so difficult to just say "the marriage has issues" or the "marriage is in trouble" and deal with it prior to getting into that situation of lies and deceit?
This one leads back to my opening comment about the skype message I received. I grew up Mormon and made the transition to Wicca and that is already known. What I hadn't really stated prior was this. I kept it a secret how I felt and what I believed for many years. I knew what I believed but out of fear of retribution and ridicule, I kept it bottled up and it was like a time bomb. I always felt incomplete, unfulfilled and generally felt that I was being watched by everyone......although that was not, in fact, the reality of the situation. I functioned this way for years and when i finally "came out", while there was some of the ridicule and retribution, it was nowhere near at the level I predicted it would be.
I have been participating in a rating and comment group for business. We write articles, make blog posts, and make videos and then comment and rate one an-others work. At first I began by making them all about marketing concepts and how to self brand......all of the while hiding who I was "deep down". The knots began to well up and I felt again incomplete as a businessman and something had to give. I was always on edge, muscles tense, headaches and all of the usual side effects. And then..........it happened. An awakening of sorts. Why not mix my deep seeded faith AND my business?
Seemed like a great idea at the time so I went with it. Needless to say I am still "with it". So how does this come into play within this article? I had been hiding who I truly was and when I came out about it and began making videos about Wiccan products and Wiccan things......I suddenly received fewer ratings and fewer comments. I received comments on my Facebook profile about "what happened to you?" What happened WAS me and shall remain. I felt relief.
The comment sent to my skype this morning said,"If I'm being honest - the Wiccan Stuff isn't my bag either Nathan. I do my best to eat the chicken and spit out the bones in my interactions with EVERYONE. But some of the stuff on those sites (Images More than anything) are a bit against the grain. I would work on building YOU - rather than the Wiccan Beliefs. You'll get A LOT bigger audience!
While this comment is true, I would still not be ME in doing that very thing, and my Wiccan beliefs govern everything else in my life. To this individual I sent the response that I appreciated his opinion, however. ME and my Wiccan beliefs are one in the same. It would be like any other faith in business not being their faith while they are doing business. It would be a secret and therein a lie! Feels good to be ME instead of what others expect and the secret being out has made life so much more simple. Cost me friends? Not many, and those that decided to stop rating and commenting were never friends to begin with in the grand scheme of things. Life goes on in peace and business. Well, I am still here and still doing business.....just without the stress of "the secret".
Another big one, and one I encountered often, both as a paramedic and a religious leader, is premarital/teen pregnancy. This secret is a biggie and does so much damage mentally, physically, and spiritually, that I would be remiss if I did not address this secret and the aftermath here in this article. The fact of the matter is that some teens, regardless of religious upbringing, will engage in pre-marital sex. Of those some of the young women will become pregnant. The teachings within many faiths make this very taboo.
So what is the effect? For women that I have spoken to that have been in this situation it is very heavy to pack the weight of this secret around. They feel ashamed (although they shouldn't as nature happens), they feel that they have let their parents down or even let themselves down and that takes a tremendous amount of energy, physical and mental, in order to maintain the secret. They compound the morning sickness by holding the secret in and the knots and the vomiting associated with morning sickness, compounded by the lie, become excruciating.
Depression is not uncommon from what I have seen and many times these young women will seek counsel from religious leaders. Now this can be stressful as well because by sharing the secret with clergy, will the clergy divulge this "secret" to their parents who are generally also of this faith? And what then will be the resulting consequences of this decision? You can see the paradox involved here. Many will become depressed, some suicidal, and all over something, that while not necessarily planned, can be dealt with in an adult and loving manner.
I have seen many young women involved in a premarital pregnancy that have not kept the secret, and the results are never as grave as had the secret been kept. While some parents "freak out" and many actually go against their faith and try to convince the teen to abort, the majority do not and eventually accept the reality of the situation and again take on the role of loving and supportive parent. Secrets do damage my friends. Some damage even causes the loss of lives when in fact it shouldn't.
My question then is this. Do we keep secrets? Of course we do. However, at some point we must cease harboring secrets in order for us to truly be who we are and who we were meant to be. Ultimately it really doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, but what we ourselves think, and when we can accept responsibility for our own actions, behaviors and choices, how wonderful life can be. Life isn't always easy. life isn't always without stress and pain and all of the other human emotions that make us who and what we are. However, secrets make us DIFFERENT than who we really are and we must think about what the cost benefit ratio will be if we decide to keep a deep dark skeleton in that closet.
Be who and what you are. The God/Goddess didn't make junk, nor does deity intend for you to be miserable in order to placate or bow to the wishes of everyone else. We are all here for this short period of time we call life. We need to learn the lessons we are meant to learn, however they may present themselves, and act upon them for the benefit of ourselves and those we love and care about. I urge you to purge the negative influences of all of those secrets that you hold deep down inside and feel the freedom of just being proud of who and what you are as a fellow human being. In the end you will respect yourself much more and those around you, that truly care about you, will have more respect FOR you as well.
Until next time my friends, be kind to yourself, be honest and true to your nature and brightest blessings to you always. As always you may reach me privately by email at wiccanthings@hotmail.com
Nathan Jeffery
Author-Business and Religious Leader
Nathan Jeffery has been Wiccan for 19 years and remains outspoken about bringing his faith into the public awareness. Not for ridicule or degredation, but for the proud people who also just happen to practice this faith as he does, without secrecy or shame.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Jeffery
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Toxic People & Relationships
Are you a toxic person/personality? And what is even meant by that? A toxic person is one that is negative almost all of the time. This is the type that looks at a beautiful day and says "it could be nicer". We all have this type of personality in our lives now, or have in the past.
As it relates to business this is the individual that makes a million dollars and then complains about having to pay taxes.So what type of person are you? Have you ever been this way and then made the turn around? Let's face it, we all have our down days. Some just take it and let it roll off their shoulders and yet others take it to heart and those are the ones that I am writing this article for.
So let's evaluate the different types, and this is not all inclusive by any means, of toxic people in our lives:
1: The "naysayer". This type will argue, no matter what, with anything and everything that is said or decided.
2: The "nothing is good enough". This type will, no matter how great things are, find something to gripe about.
3: The "I'm not happy, so no-one else should be". This one is quite possibly the worst as they will always try to pull others down ino their depressed and negative state with them. This is one of the most devastating types to be involved with in our personal lives, and our business lives. (This type was the primary cause of my divorce)
4: The "the grass is always greener". This type always tries to beat the neighbor or the person competing with them in business and regardless of the level of their success continues to try to "one-up" everyone else. *This one can be healthy if kept in check It becomes unhealthy when our happiness depends on it.
5: The "if you are not with me, you are against me". This type believes that everyone should be as miserable as they are, and that is the natural state of things. This is very closely related to the type described in number 3. You will find that these all intersect.
6: The "I am always right and you are always wrong". This is what I call the narcissist. This type of personality really believes that they are always right and everyone else's opinion does not, and should not matter. This is a difficult one to deal with, however, I am about to go into some ways of dealing with all of these types as they all correlate.
That should be sufficient for now. As I stated, I am not by any means going to get them all. So how then do we deal with this type of personality and keep them from permeating our lives and our personality? I am going to be speaking from my experiences here. I am NOT a psychotherapist and I do not follow the DSM3 or the DSM4. Just for those that would be this type and criticize this article. LOL.
I have found that the easiest way to deal with the ones of this type of thinking in business is to NOT associate with them. Hmmmmmm. Well Nathan, that is easier said than done? Right? Not really. At any time did I say it was going to be easy? Well, no I didn't, and for good reason. It is neither easy, nor is it comfortable....for you, or the other person or people involved.
I personally, cut ties with any and all people that I do business with that behave in this manner. It is not always easy and it is by no means comfortable, so why then do I so readily do it? They will not be paying my bills or putting a roof over me and my families head. It is a matter of principle. Too bad, so sad.......NEXT!!!!
Now to the most difficult one. What do you do when it is family and/or close friends? There are a number of ways, and trust me folks I have tried many ways and they do not always insulate you from the affects of the behavior completely. Thus, the everyone has bad days statement earlier. We all have them. When I was married to my last wife, she was very negative. Nothing was good enough, no amount of money was ever good enough, what was for dinner was never good enough.......I think you get the idea here.
I must say this. I did not love her any less and this is where it gets a bit sticky. I noticed that this negativity was depressing me and it was affecting not only our relationship, but my relationships with everyone else. I ended up on an anti-depressant (probably the most over prescribed medication in the USA today) and knew that I didn't want to keep living this way. I knew I could not afford to continue for the sake of our son and my being able to support him.
I made the decision that it was best for the sake of my son's welfare, as well as for my own sanity, to end the marriage of almost 10 years. We tried counseling and for a short while things did improve but in the end the marriage was over. It was not an easy decision, however, was one of the best I have ever made. Now, to get into extended family and other friends. This is a bit easier. We have our interactions with our extended family and friends at our discretion. This one is controllable.
Just like in my business dealings, I NEVER make it personal. We cannot do it in our personal lives either, without becoming the way those we are dealing with are. I love my family and I love my friends enough that I choose to distance myself from the ones that are so negative that they affect my attitude and personality. This way we can remain friends and the love stays in tact.
The people I have been discussing are not "evil" people. They are not this way always by choice and too many factors play into them being the way they are and we must cut some slack without it infecting us. Toxic people are, in many ways, diseased. Whether it be by choice, upbringing or simply socialization. It is not for us to decide which of those was the cause.
We must simply choose our best course of action in order for us to live healthy and successful lives and to see that our children do the same. So what if our child is this way??? Then we better begin doing some soul searching, as it were, and find out why. After all, they learn from us and the people they associate with, and we have direct control over that as parents. Get them and ourselves help if necessary, but deal with it now and it is easier to change the negative thought process.
While this sounds like a bit of a disorganized rant I hope you have been, at the very least, able to stop long enough while reading this to notice those that are impeding your personal development in your personal life and in your business life by their negativity. I further hope that you are able to combat that negative influence in your life and become who you are meant to be.
If this helps you do that in your business life then you have a shot to be successful and I am happy for you. If this helps you in any way improve in your personal life then I am absolutely thrilled and honored to have helped you. And finally, if this is able to help lead you to help, and it assists in saving your marriage, and possibly your child from self destructive behaviors that could affect him/her? Priceless.
Reform negativity when you can, remove negative influences and thinkers if you have to, but remember one thing, only you have the power to change your thoughts and your actions for the better or for the worse and sometimes it just becomes habit and habits can be broken.
As always, if I can be of any help to you at any time please simply email me at wiccanthings@hotmail.com and may the Goddess bless and keep you always.
Nathan Jeffery )0(
Author - Religious and Business Leader
As it relates to business this is the individual that makes a million dollars and then complains about having to pay taxes.So what type of person are you? Have you ever been this way and then made the turn around? Let's face it, we all have our down days. Some just take it and let it roll off their shoulders and yet others take it to heart and those are the ones that I am writing this article for.
So let's evaluate the different types, and this is not all inclusive by any means, of toxic people in our lives:
1: The "naysayer". This type will argue, no matter what, with anything and everything that is said or decided.
2: The "nothing is good enough". This type will, no matter how great things are, find something to gripe about.
3: The "I'm not happy, so no-one else should be". This one is quite possibly the worst as they will always try to pull others down ino their depressed and negative state with them. This is one of the most devastating types to be involved with in our personal lives, and our business lives. (This type was the primary cause of my divorce)
4: The "the grass is always greener". This type always tries to beat the neighbor or the person competing with them in business and regardless of the level of their success continues to try to "one-up" everyone else. *This one can be healthy if kept in check It becomes unhealthy when our happiness depends on it.
5: The "if you are not with me, you are against me". This type believes that everyone should be as miserable as they are, and that is the natural state of things. This is very closely related to the type described in number 3. You will find that these all intersect.
6: The "I am always right and you are always wrong". This is what I call the narcissist. This type of personality really believes that they are always right and everyone else's opinion does not, and should not matter. This is a difficult one to deal with, however, I am about to go into some ways of dealing with all of these types as they all correlate.
That should be sufficient for now. As I stated, I am not by any means going to get them all. So how then do we deal with this type of personality and keep them from permeating our lives and our personality? I am going to be speaking from my experiences here. I am NOT a psychotherapist and I do not follow the DSM3 or the DSM4. Just for those that would be this type and criticize this article. LOL.
I have found that the easiest way to deal with the ones of this type of thinking in business is to NOT associate with them. Hmmmmmm. Well Nathan, that is easier said than done? Right? Not really. At any time did I say it was going to be easy? Well, no I didn't, and for good reason. It is neither easy, nor is it comfortable....for you, or the other person or people involved.
I personally, cut ties with any and all people that I do business with that behave in this manner. It is not always easy and it is by no means comfortable, so why then do I so readily do it? They will not be paying my bills or putting a roof over me and my families head. It is a matter of principle. Too bad, so sad.......NEXT!!!!
Now to the most difficult one. What do you do when it is family and/or close friends? There are a number of ways, and trust me folks I have tried many ways and they do not always insulate you from the affects of the behavior completely. Thus, the everyone has bad days statement earlier. We all have them. When I was married to my last wife, she was very negative. Nothing was good enough, no amount of money was ever good enough, what was for dinner was never good enough.......I think you get the idea here.
I must say this. I did not love her any less and this is where it gets a bit sticky. I noticed that this negativity was depressing me and it was affecting not only our relationship, but my relationships with everyone else. I ended up on an anti-depressant (probably the most over prescribed medication in the USA today) and knew that I didn't want to keep living this way. I knew I could not afford to continue for the sake of our son and my being able to support him.
I made the decision that it was best for the sake of my son's welfare, as well as for my own sanity, to end the marriage of almost 10 years. We tried counseling and for a short while things did improve but in the end the marriage was over. It was not an easy decision, however, was one of the best I have ever made. Now, to get into extended family and other friends. This is a bit easier. We have our interactions with our extended family and friends at our discretion. This one is controllable.
Just like in my business dealings, I NEVER make it personal. We cannot do it in our personal lives either, without becoming the way those we are dealing with are. I love my family and I love my friends enough that I choose to distance myself from the ones that are so negative that they affect my attitude and personality. This way we can remain friends and the love stays in tact.
The people I have been discussing are not "evil" people. They are not this way always by choice and too many factors play into them being the way they are and we must cut some slack without it infecting us. Toxic people are, in many ways, diseased. Whether it be by choice, upbringing or simply socialization. It is not for us to decide which of those was the cause.
We must simply choose our best course of action in order for us to live healthy and successful lives and to see that our children do the same. So what if our child is this way??? Then we better begin doing some soul searching, as it were, and find out why. After all, they learn from us and the people they associate with, and we have direct control over that as parents. Get them and ourselves help if necessary, but deal with it now and it is easier to change the negative thought process.
While this sounds like a bit of a disorganized rant I hope you have been, at the very least, able to stop long enough while reading this to notice those that are impeding your personal development in your personal life and in your business life by their negativity. I further hope that you are able to combat that negative influence in your life and become who you are meant to be.
If this helps you do that in your business life then you have a shot to be successful and I am happy for you. If this helps you in any way improve in your personal life then I am absolutely thrilled and honored to have helped you. And finally, if this is able to help lead you to help, and it assists in saving your marriage, and possibly your child from self destructive behaviors that could affect him/her? Priceless.
Reform negativity when you can, remove negative influences and thinkers if you have to, but remember one thing, only you have the power to change your thoughts and your actions for the better or for the worse and sometimes it just becomes habit and habits can be broken.
As always, if I can be of any help to you at any time please simply email me at wiccanthings@hotmail.com and may the Goddess bless and keep you always.
Nathan Jeffery )0(
Author - Religious and Business Leader
Saturday, February 27, 2010
The Sociology of Human Behavior - External Influences on Perception of Others
This evening I decided that I would try a small experiment to test the theory that we all tend to "judge" others based on appearnace and come to some conclusions about the way that person is from those perceptions.
For the past 6 months I have been network marketing and have had a rather conservative picture on my Facebook profile. Tonight I changed that to a photo that was of me 3 years ago when I had my Wiccan shop running full time. The Witches Haven in Cedar City Utah.
I was not so surprised to see what the result was. The immediate result was that I received comments of shock.....one even saying.......WOW! Others were less "shocked" and ranged from a thumbs up to "I didn't have any clue". This is not a negative thing and my theory was not to show negativity versus positive resulting reactions but to see raw reaction.....period.
I placed a status statement shortly after placing the picture on my profile that stated, "I changed my profile picture here to make a point. Whether you call your clergy Bishop, Father, Rabbi, or High Priest,etc.............never judge by the cover as we are peaceful and only wish to assist our fellow man."
I am happy to state that while my theory was proven that we all make judgments or we tend to have pre-conceived ideas of one another we also have the intelligence to think about these ideas and notions and make informed decisions about our final judgment.
I hope that we all will take the time to think about how we are judging others based on appearances only and that we will stop and think about all of the reasoning and conditions that played into the way they appear. I may have looked like a "hippy" to some. A "satanic" person to others.........neither of which would have been any where near accurate.
This article will be appearing in a post on my blog and by the time this is posted the picture on my FB profile will have been changed back. I neglected to mention that apparently it did have the affect that people were no longer friend requesting me and some chose to leave and that was also expected. I have left it on my blog as it portrays who I truly am.....away from the politics.....and out of the "lime light" as it were.
May we all be cautious about the way we are treating one another because of the language we may speak, the clothing we may wear, the creed we may hold ourselves to, and just treat one another with the respect that deep down we all deserve. In the end nothing else matters but the fact that we are all here on earth and we are all human and have feelings, emotions and frailties.
Until next time take care of yourselves and each other. Brightest blessings. )0(
Nathan Jeffery
Nathan Jeffery has been Wiccan for 19 years and remains outspoken about bringing this faith into the public view. Not for ridicule or degredation, but for the proud people who also just happen to practice this faith as he does, without secrecy or shame.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Jeffery
For the past 6 months I have been network marketing and have had a rather conservative picture on my Facebook profile. Tonight I changed that to a photo that was of me 3 years ago when I had my Wiccan shop running full time. The Witches Haven in Cedar City Utah.
I was not so surprised to see what the result was. The immediate result was that I received comments of shock.....one even saying.......WOW! Others were less "shocked" and ranged from a thumbs up to "I didn't have any clue". This is not a negative thing and my theory was not to show negativity versus positive resulting reactions but to see raw reaction.....period.
I placed a status statement shortly after placing the picture on my profile that stated, "I changed my profile picture here to make a point. Whether you call your clergy Bishop, Father, Rabbi, or High Priest,etc.............never judge by the cover as we are peaceful and only wish to assist our fellow man."
I am happy to state that while my theory was proven that we all make judgments or we tend to have pre-conceived ideas of one another we also have the intelligence to think about these ideas and notions and make informed decisions about our final judgment.
I hope that we all will take the time to think about how we are judging others based on appearances only and that we will stop and think about all of the reasoning and conditions that played into the way they appear. I may have looked like a "hippy" to some. A "satanic" person to others.........neither of which would have been any where near accurate.
This article will be appearing in a post on my blog and by the time this is posted the picture on my FB profile will have been changed back. I neglected to mention that apparently it did have the affect that people were no longer friend requesting me and some chose to leave and that was also expected. I have left it on my blog as it portrays who I truly am.....away from the politics.....and out of the "lime light" as it were.
May we all be cautious about the way we are treating one another because of the language we may speak, the clothing we may wear, the creed we may hold ourselves to, and just treat one another with the respect that deep down we all deserve. In the end nothing else matters but the fact that we are all here on earth and we are all human and have feelings, emotions and frailties.
Until next time take care of yourselves and each other. Brightest blessings. )0(
Nathan Jeffery
Nathan Jeffery has been Wiccan for 19 years and remains outspoken about bringing this faith into the public view. Not for ridicule or degredation, but for the proud people who also just happen to practice this faith as he does, without secrecy or shame.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Nathan_Jeffery
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Meta Pot - Overview (Nathan Jeffery)
This is a brief overview of one of the most affordable, and expansive sites to find all of your metaphysical and non-metaphysical needs.
There are tons of products here that will appeal to the general public as well. I hope you enjoy this as much as I do and are as satisfied with their product line as I have been.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
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